What is self-esteem?
The difference between self-esteem and self-confidence is that self-confidence is about your abilities, while self-esteem is about your basic sense of being worth something as a person. With low self-esteem, people often think "I'm not good enough", or end up tying their worth to what they achieve. In reality, achievement and self-worth are two different things: we have value in ourselves, even when we achieve nothing, simply because we exist. That can be enormously hard to believe, or to remind yourself of in every situation, and once you have become convinced that being good enough requires something special of you, it can lead to low self-esteem.
Signs of low self-esteem:
- Racing thoughts
- Feeling low
- Putting other people's needs before your own
- Self-criticism
- Perfectionism
- Finding it hard to say no, set boundaries or disappoint others
- Self-doubt
- Negative thoughts about yourself
- Difficulty making decisions
- Focusing on what others think
- Withdrawing from others
- Procrastination
- A feeling of inadequacy
- People-pleasing
Why do people develop low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem is often about the stories we have built up about ourselves, based on the experiences we have had throughout our lives. It is often connected to not having felt seen and heard at important moments in life, which has created a belief that you are not important. It may have been in childhood, in your youth or in adult life that you experienced situations where your feelings or needs were ignored. When these feelings are suppressed or ignored, they can shape a negative self-image and create a deep doubt about your own worth.
Why is it important to look after your self-esteem?
Looking after your self-esteem matters because it forms the foundation for how we thrive in life and in our relationships. With healthy self-esteem, it becomes easier to notice our own needs, set healthy boundaries and meet ourselves with care. It gives an inner sense of security that leaves us better equipped to handle life's ups and downs with more self-acceptance and calm.
How do I work on improving your self-esteem?
- Understanding your feelings: We explore and make sense of the feelings that lie behind your self-esteem.
- Change through feelings: Instead of suppressing or fighting your feelings, I help you use them to change your current patterns.
- Self-care and acceptance: I help you meet yourself with care and understanding, so you can build a kinder relationship with yourself.
- Working through past experiences: If past relationships or experiences have damaged your self-esteem, we work with those wounds so they no longer hold you back.
- Developing new strategies: I help you act in ways that match your values and needs, so your self-esteem grows stronger.
Benefits of online therapy for low self-esteem
Online therapy lets you get help in a way that is flexible and easy to fit into your everyday life. You can stay at home where you feel safe, and you don't need to spend time travelling or coordinating, which can be a strain in a busy week.
The therapy can be adapted to your needs and take place at times that suit you, including outside normal working hours. You only spend the time the session actually lasts, which keeps it simple and efficient. You can also often get an appointment quickly, so you can start working on your self-esteem straight away.
Online therapy is simple and takes very little to get started: all you need is a quiet place and internet access on a computer, tablet or phone. Sessions are held in English, wherever you live in Denmark.
What my clients say
I came to Marlene with one central question I wanted to find an answer to. For me, the therapy became a really lovely journey of learning, where I not only got more clarity about my situation, but also had the chance to look deep into myself and reflect on my own patterns and core conflicts. Marlene is good at holding on to the essential questions and feelings, and at supporting and nudging me with care when needed.
Marlene is committed and empathetic, and creates a safe space where it is easy to share, especially because she invests herself in the conversation too. I was very glad to have a course of therapy with Marlene, and I would definitely recommend it to others, and use it again myself if I ever needed to.
We are so incredibly glad to be in therapy with you, and from session to session we can feel how we are changing for the better, both individually and together. You are wonderfully skilled at guiding the conversation and the space between us. We want you to know that.
Couples therapy has helped us in different ways. I have come to know T’s motives in a different way from what I assumed before. T has learned to listen better than before, and not necessarily to look for solutions, but simply to listen.
See all prices and subsidy options on Prices.
I can also help with
- Couples therapyAre poor communication, recurring conflicts or a lack of security getting in the way of your relationship?
- Family therapyDo you often feel misunderstood, or find your feelings running high in close relationships, for example with your children?
- Life crisesAre you facing life-changing events, or do you need help navigating your current situation in life?
- AnxietyDoes it feel as if you are often on high alert? We all have an alarm system that helps us when we face danger, but when we have anxiety...
- DepressionAre you struggling with a lack of motivation, strong feelings of guilt, tiredness, or generally feeling low?
- StressDo you feel as if you are drowning in your own life? Stress is not a diagnosis but a state of overwhelm that arises when there is far too much on our plate.